To work or not to work

Published 2009-01-20 – 16:55:06

So there’s a bit of a debate going around the web regarding the French minister of Justice Rachida Dati going back to work 5 days after giving birth. Undoubtedly the children v work debate is an interesting one.

 A lot of people seem to use the “well a dad can go back to work the same day and no one bats an eyelid” argument, however one cannot really compare a dad going back to work the day after or the same day as his child has been born to a mum going back to work a few days after giving birth. It’s not really the same thing. Dad’s are only really physically required once and that was nine months prior and he can easily be replaced by someone other male species for the emotional requirements.

Not nice but true. For mothers there is of course the physically difference of child birth compared to the fatherly input (mostly stitches and sore nipples) but also, and this is where the real issue lies, an emotional difference. Not nice but still true. Mother and baby have not only been sharing a body for (hopefully) nine months and the baby is physically dependant on the mother for good nutrition but there is an emotional bond has also been created which needs nurturing as well.

 Not even I can deny the fact that babies need their mummies just as much after birth as before which is why I despite my exceptionally modern centre liberal approach to society thought to myself when reading about Dati going back to work; why have a baby in the first place if you rather work than be with it. Especially considering the fact it’s a test tube (or one time favour) baby and there is no father in sight. My mind instantly went on a rant (I had nothing to do with it!) thinking that I’m sure she just wanted to tick another box on the female life to do list, how selfish. I then managed to take control of my brain again and thought yes it might not be the optimal way of bringing up a child and yes one can cast doubts over her reasons for having a baby and brand them as selfish, BUT how many parents bring up their children in an optimal way? I know plenty of fucked up people whose problems are directly caused by their parents. And several of those people had stay at home mums. One can conclude that leaving your baby with someone after five days choosing work rather than looking after it yourself isn’t the best thing to do if you want to raise a well balanced kid but it’s certainly not the worst thing you can do. And if that’s what you need to do to be a happy sane mum when you’re at home go for it.

 There is also another aspect of this debate which is that businesses should be flexible and “mummy friendly” enough to allow for mums to do both or stay at home the time needed (within reason). On one side you’ve got Catherine MacKinnon claiming that the an employer isn’t acting in a sexist manner when not adapting to a mother’s need but when the job wasn’t created flexible enough for a working mum to do it. On the other hand you have the arguments that are disguised as some capitalistic reasons that businesses need a certain number of hours in the office and a certain time of dedication which is why mums are unsuitable. I would strongly argue that that is bullshit. Things hindering working mums from progression isn’t “business needs” it the office culture and office politics. How often do workers not stay late not because they have work to do but to make the impression one is working late?

What I’m trying to say is that working mums are hindered by the office culture created my males (can’t deny that boys, I wouldn’t even have a job 50 years ago) that are centered around long hours rather than productive hours, social “networking” functions down the pub, rather than achievement and a general but subtle negative attitude towards female traits and behavior in the work environment where male behavior is the norm. Interestingly enough there has been research on the employers attitude towards paternity leave in Sweden and surprisingly employers are very positive towards male employees taking long paternity leave. It’s perceived as showing signs of trustworthiness and loyalty. Not surprisingly the same does not go for maternity leave.